[venus rising] matchbook romance

Friday, October 06, 2006

Hi,

I have moved.

To.

www.venusrising.multiply.com

marianah @ 12:37 AM | |

Sunday, September 03, 2006

So I met up with Nezah and Halimah before she left for Canada again. Over years, I realized some of the friends that I’m most comfortable with tend to drift further when it comes to physical distances.


Halimah in Canada. Zein in Germany. Hafiz in Adelaide. Shidah and Liz in Sydney.


Mind you, these are some of my oldest friends I’ve made. (Hafiz holding the longest record of 19 years …goodness, we’ve been places, haven’t we)


Irony of it all is that, I’ve made and lost tonnes of friends along the way, but these folks, as far away as they may be, are still some of them who has very much stayed. Over the years, during those occasions when they actually come back for that fleeting period, nothing beats that feeling of having to know that I’ll get a chance to see them again. (Except for Liz and Shidah whom I’ve not met in ...forever)


And the most amazing, most fascinating about these friends is that, no matter how long we have all been apart, there never was a problem getting along when we meet.


I remembered one night, years ago; - Zein was driving Hafiz and me home after (what I cant remember). It was a couple of months before Zein was supposed to leave the country. We had laughed so much during the drive (something over Gypsy Kings?), and I remembered so starkly how I felt that night. It was such a silent sentiment for me, something that I just let go. I knew then that with one gone, more will follow suit.


And years hop by with no sights of each other.


It then became a privilege to meet.


And when the privileges came for such brief moments, I enjoyed them to the fullest. I sat with Hafiz for a few hours last couple of months ago, and spoke again of our childhood. I had dinner with Zein early this month and I never stopped talking. And the most recent one with Halimah in Tekka where we and Nezah stuffed our faces with naan and briyani in between laughter.


Privileges that make me feel as if we’ve never been away.


Sure, there is nothing much we can do about it. But I can’t help this bittersweet feeling when I typed this down.

marianah @ 6:57 PM | |

Saturday, August 26, 2006

So my dear cousin Hida left for London on Thursday. I hope she’ll have a ball of time there. :)

Work is starting to take a slight toll on me. Although I’ve been mentally prepared for such demands since years ago, every now and then it still manage to startle me at times. And one thing I’ve realized over and over again is this –I HATE meetings. I absolutely loathe them. I’ve always known I was never made to wear heels, or anything remotely close to ‘office wear’. Hence, I believe that I never was made to attend corporate meetings as well, since ‘corporate meetings’ and ‘office wear’ comes hand in hand, and they go for lunches together, too.

P.S: My little niece had innocently hinted if I could get tickets for the Kids Central’s Live thingy, -oh darn.

marianah @ 9:16 AM | |

Monday, July 24, 2006

So much has happened within a month.

It was a very trying time for me. I was thrown into a foreign country alone and expected to run things. I was told to work and compromise with complete strangers with queer English twangs. And how about a family crisis back home thrown in along with everything else?

But I'll count my blessings. It was a mind boggling experience, and I had come to appreciate the compassion and kindness in strangers when you have no one else to trust or turn to.

I saw horrible living conditions, dirty streets, blistering weather conditions, children bathing in sewage water, kids shitting in the open and eating from trash, -and they were enough to make me thankful for what I have.

I had chaotic days, and very lonely nights there.


Some pics...

Jamal Masjid

The beautiful Humayun's Tomb

The little ones living in trash

The mountain of trash...the stench was unbearable

Chai & Yardley who had watched over me fiercely throughout the filming :)

Sunset near the India Gate

My last parting shot with the crew. Strangely, I missed them.

marianah @ 2:25 AM | |

Saturday, July 15, 2006

I do not know what will happen. And I do not want to know. It is so hard for me, for my siblings. For my mum.

I broke down so hard when I texted my mum just now. I believe in God's greatness, and not a Man's ego, stupidity and ignorance. Faith is difficult in trying times, but I'll have it all the same.

I love my mother. Very very much. Even killing me won't change that.

I would do anything in the world for her.

marianah @ 9:09 AM | |

Wednesday, July 12, 2006

I am kind of down here. I hope things will look brighter soon. I think about my family and I pray so hard for them.

I went to Chadni Chowk on my second day here. It was a really interesting place, and if you're a sewing or craft freak, this place is for you. They sell millions of craft and sewing items, you'll be spoilt for choice.










Omg, these are handmade envelopes, how cool is that?


A whole shop full of envelopes

marianah @ 9:41 PM | |
There were 7 bomb blasts in Mumbai yesterday, and its high alerts everywhere, even here in Delhi.

I'm not in a mood to type anything more really. I am so tired but I can't sleep. Shit.

marianah @ 10:46 AM | |

Monday, July 10, 2006

I reached New Delhi last night, and despite the very crowded flight, I got the whole row to myself. Which was good, cos I was groggy and hungry and a little sick, and everyone around seem to piss the life out of me. I woke up 3 hours later with a runny nose and I started sneezing non-stop, and not long later everyone around me started sneezing, too. Sheesh.

I am so so tired. Hope I can write more later. It's quiet here, and well..it's boring for now. My boss is leaving me tonight,well, -doesn't make much of a diff as I don't seem to see her much anyway. and I've got a very long week ahead.

marianah @ 8:35 PM | |

Sunday, July 09, 2006

First of all....

SHAME ON YOU, ZIDANE!



Tsk tsk tsk. Although I wasn't rooting for your team, I would still have been glad if you guys did win all the same. But putting yourself into such a humilating position and having to ditch your team like that was sickening.

But I guess thanks to you, my Italy won. My sister and I were screaming my lungs out when Grosso hit the winning penalty The first thing I said to Farid when he called after the game was..."I told you so.." Heh.


I wished I was there...


Everytime he comes on screen, my heart skips a bit...teehee.



When the Cup was raised, I was blinking back tears ok!

marianah @ 6:38 PM | |
Okay I have to make it short.

Tonight is the finals, and I hope Italy wins. But if France does, I won't be heartbroken, though.

And goodbye my friends and loved ones, I'll be off to Delhi tom till the end of month. Will miss you, and wish me lots of luck...it's my first time out there alone.

See you soon.

marianah @ 9:38 AM | |

Sunday, July 02, 2006



Please please please let Italy have the Cup this time.

marianah @ 5:31 AM | |

Friday, June 23, 2006

Dear Farid,

Just to let you know I absolutely love the new camera. Thank you very much, it's a lovely gift.

Though I may not be seeing you for a while, I will be thinking of you.

marianah @ 9:54 PM | |

Friday, June 16, 2006

I get so tired lately.

Could hardly keep awake at dinner last night, and I totally crashed once I hit the sack. The minute I lay my cheek on the bed, -I’m gone. I could barely balance my feet in the moving train. I got so lightheaded and was close to dozing off at every stop.

Jakarta was eye-opening this time round. I got to meet people from the social departments, stopped by a slum to see a heartwarming bunch of street kids, and visited a children’s home, where we finally met the subject of our interest. Her name is Ismi.

The 11-year old had been abused and tortured for years in a house in West Java. She was the product of a tragic rape attack on her mum in the Middle East, and was sold to that doomed house which dealt in illegal trading of children. They were unable to sell her off, and she ended up being locked up in a toilet on the second floor with a cat for company.

The scalp on her head is damaged from the boiling water she was showered with. Her face is disfigured from the constant beating and bashing over the years. Her eyes are bright blue due to having them bleached with detergent and chilies. She is half blind. Her teeth and gums are destroyed when they strike her with the chili pounder. She ate what the cat ate.

But despite the trauma she had been through and the physical state she is in now, never will you expect the love and affection this child has for everything around her. She hugs and kisses you endlessly to show her gratitude for your visit, she makes sure her guests have enough to eat and drink, she’ll play with you for hours, and she’ll get you into stitches with her amusing antics and comeback lines.

It’s heartbreaking to imagine how life will be like for her when she gets much older.

We bought J.CO donuts and some toys for the street kids before our return flight, and it upsets me to know that the little girls are bound to end up being prostitutes when they reach puberty. It troubled me even more when I found out that it was their parents who sent them to the streets. Come rain or shine, they will be running on the road junctions stopping by the cars, singing a song, knocking on their windows for a few cents. They’ll end their shifts at midnight, and sleep on the streets before going to school in the morning.

I am grateful for what I have.

Just look at what they are going through. Children are survivors, indeed.

marianah @ 3:00 AM | |

Monday, June 05, 2006

And tomorrow's my first day on the new job.

It's already past midnight now and I'm still dragging myself to pack my luggage. I don't know why but I am way too lazy to get myself to finish the task. And best of all, they just dropped me bomb... via email (wth), that I have to attend a press conference that I know nothing about at 8 in the morning, before heading to office to attend to the HR matters, and then my crash brief on the job before rushing home and then to the airport for Jakarta.

God..please help me get through my first work day and days to come smoothly. My flu and monthly cramps are not helping, either.

marianah @ 9:17 AM | |

Tuesday, May 30, 2006

I think youngsters these days stunned me when it comes to job hunting.

Take these few I had dealt with earlier. The opening was for a Producer post in a creative photography studio.

Guy 1, Age 22
Hold a private degree is some mass communication studies. Past working experiences include internship at a local publishing house doing administrative work, delivery driver for a fast food chain, and some part-time telesales.

Expected Salary: $2,500

Girl 1, Age 23
Fresh Diploma graduate from a design course from a local institute. Past working experience includes production assistant for an episodic drama series, internship with a local production house for 2 months assisting producers in coordination work, and waitressing.

Expected Salary : $2,500

Guy 2, Age: 26
Fresh Degree holder from a private institution, majoring in a media related program. Past working experiences almost non-existent, -except for his internship with a local paper that published his only article in their column some months ago.

Expected salary: Above $2,700

I shook my head as I scan through their resumes, and wondered if youths these days are so deluded they start assuming that once they have that priced paper stamped ‘degree’ or ‘diploma’ or what not, they well deserve that amount of income to start with. Although they possess minimal working experience that are not even related, -yes, they assume those are ‘working experience’ that employers meant nonetheless.

Tsk tsk.

They failed to note that everything starts from the bottom. You start having 50 cents pocket money in primary school, and eventually getting your nets and debit cards as you begin your secondary or tertiary life.

Same goes with employment, particularly in the creative and media industry. You can’t expect to attend an interview and go oh-I have-a-degree-I-am-smart-and-that’s-why-you-have-to-pay-me-like-that. If that’s your case, please expect your potential employers to wave and blow goodbye kisses at you.

Yes, we know you have a degree, and we trust you busted your ass off working for it. But it’s a different ballgame altogether out there in the work market, my dear. You take a long time to prove your self worth to the job/s, not just by shoving papers into faces and demanding obscene pay for starters.

Big boss Ed (all hail the king of photography) joked to us the other day, “Who cares so much about papers in creatives? Look at you! The people with papers who are working under those without…cheh.”

Ouch.

marianah @ 1:09 AM | |

Tuesday, May 23, 2006

I am getting all jittery over the new job.

In fact, I'm terribly terrifed.

marianah @ 3:35 AM | |

Thursday, May 18, 2006

Raja Azmi said... "A pious wife would not allow her husband to cook"...during a recent tv forum that made many felt was produced to attack Yasmin Ahmad's films.

So here's some feedback for you Raja Azmi.

Norhayati Kaprawi of the rights group Sisters in Islam said that it was inaccurate to say that the religion only permitted women to do housework.

"It is not stated in the Koran that it is only the wife's duty. In fact, the Prophet [Mohammed] sewed his own clothes," she said.

Ahmad Shukri Yusoff, Sharia head at a government agency, also said that the Prophet was known to have helped his wife in the kitchen.

"Entering a kitchen doesn't degrade a man. If anything, it shows how much he loved his wife and it makes the husband-wife relationship more affectionate," he said.


I remembered my mum got so worked out watching the forum.


"Sedangkan Nabi(S.A.W) giling roti dengan Siti Aisyah! Cakap macam betul aje!"

And, as a random blogger mocked...

"Kalau nak jadi isteri soleha, jangan kahwin dengan tukang masak la, tau..."


:)

marianah @ 7:35 PM | |
And so I'll be out of this place by end month.

Though I am more than happy with this move, I can't help having this wee tinge of sadness in me when I take my leave. Perhaps am just not good when it comes to farewells.

Despite their shortcomings, -personal or otherwise, the guys have been good with me, and being the only girl tend to allow me to get away with most things easily. And it's right here, at this place, where I finally started the soap business with the girls. I have to be honest that guys' support in my personal venture is deeply appreciated. Not once have they grumbled about the packages I've received, or the temporary storage place I made my tiny room to be, or the late nights I've spent here wrapping and labelling the stuffs. They even went to the extend of giving business suggestions and feedbacks that I am grateful for.

But of cos (like any other work environment,) I've had more than enough disputes with them as well. I've had days where I was so close to packing my bag and leaving on the spot, or days where I would totally shut myself off from them just to prove my frustrations. It was just a couple of weeks back when Simon and me had a huge fight in the van that he literally stopped by the fringe of the highway and started throwing things around, -just because I can't navigate directions for nuts.

But now, I'll be ready to say goodbye when the time comes. True, I get easily attached to people and my surroundings, but somehow over the years, it tends to get a tad easier to let go of such 'affections'.

I should start packing up slowly.

marianah @ 2:28 AM | |

Wednesday, May 03, 2006

I was beaming witb ecstacy over my new job offer and was just a click away from sending the sms to my parents when someone from home called.

It was unusual receiving calls from home in the middle of the afternoon, and it felt even weirder when the call was made by my dad. He mentioned that my uncle (also my dear cousin Hida's dad), had just passed on, and I told him to repeat it twice cos I simply could and would not believe it.

I hung up, and a few seconds after my mum called from her mobile to confirm the news. After that call, I just sat frozen for a while not knowing what to do or think. I got a grip of myself after a bit, said my prayers and shed my silent tears alone. I could not imagine the grieve of the family right now, and all I could offer are only my prayers.

In events like these, I beat myself up for not doing enough for my parents and loved ones.

marianah @ 9:30 AM | |

Saturday, April 15, 2006

I really need to be alone for a while.

These thoughts are driving me to the brink of madness. Especially when the night comes knocking.

Please please let me stay awake. I really want to stay awake.

marianah @ 8:00 AM | |

Wednesday, April 12, 2006

My office's mood for the day is....FUCKING PISSED.

I can sincerely tolerate the 'blur-and-duh'-ness in people(I fall into that category), but I cannot endure obstinacy in those that are plainly stupid.

I went through such an ordeal earlier with a Starhub officer over an overseas conference call that I literally screamed my lungs out the moment I slammed down the phone on her.

I feel so mentally and emotionally raped, I tell ya.

marianah @ 3:19 AM | |

Tuesday, April 11, 2006

Some Of My Earliest Memories....

I remembered pouring blue watercolor into the small white bathtub trying to make it look like a real swimming pool.

I remembered lying that I hit a sharp cupboard end when I cut myself badly with my dad’s shaver

I remembered the moment my mum taught me how to tell the time while she’s dressing me in my pajamas

I remembered the ordeal my parents went through each time I spot a Mickey Mouse watch at the malls in any color that I did not have. “But I don’t have the blue one / I didn’t get the red one.” I’d insist on getting them although they were all the same.


I remembered being knocked over by a cousin while she was on a wooden swing in Malacca, and I flew into cow dung. And how the adults were trying to stop my wailing by telling me it was ‘mud’.


I remembered the first ever Japanese word I knew, -‘ChiJin’, uttered frequently by a Japanese cousin. I still don’t know what it meant.

I remembered how my mum had to take a day off from work to shop for this little doll called ‘My Child’ cos I would not stop weeping.

I remembered always pretending to be asleep on the way home after a long day just so my dad would have to carry me

I remembered having a tiny ginger kitten for a day and my mum gave it away cos it pooed at her vase

I remembered knowing every word in every song in ‘The Sound of Music’ and ‘Annie’

I remembered the afternoons where my mum would give me a ‘surprise’ package, wrapped in cheap brown paper, and I’d always knew it was my new pacifier.

I remembered my frequent nose bleeds.

I remembered lying to my brother about a trip to the doctor for my nose bleeds. I lied about the doctor sticking a gigantic needle up my nose (in fact, he had only shone a light into my nostrils).

I remembered crying when I take bus rides. I have no idea why.

marianah @ 1:15 AM | |

Sunday, April 09, 2006

After a nice weekend, I was greeted with tonnes of work at the office this Monday morning.

Plus, my monthly friend decided to pop by at the same time.

What a fucking good start to the week,indeed. Argh.

marianah @ 7:24 PM | |

Thursday, April 06, 2006

Tomorrow is flea day again.

There Jamal, here's an update :D

marianah @ 7:33 PM | |

Tuesday, March 28, 2006



I almost forgot my infatuation with this guy till recently. When I was 16, I used get all floozy watching the 'One Headlight' video. Over the years, I am still very much a sucker for men with messy hair in wornout sneakers and frayed jeans, -that whole unkempt persona.

Fuck, with a face like his, who cares if he's Bob Dylan's son, married with a kid, and is more known for his rebellious manners than his music?

I'd gladly meet him anytime and tell it to his face, "Oh Jakob, you gorgeous son-of-a-bitch, let me buy you drink..."

marianah @ 9:39 PM | |

Monday, March 20, 2006

Looking at these reminds me of so much laughter and peanut butter oreos (that makes me shudder). Thank God I was lucky enough to escape the bread & spread, and I didn't accumulate as much chips as Shahreil did.





marianah @ 7:17 PM | |

Friday, March 17, 2006

All I had wanted was to spend some time with you.

I am tired. Really.

marianah @ 7:56 AM | |

Thursday, March 09, 2006

Work has been a real bitch to me lately, but it somehow managed to make the days of the week seem shorter. I’ve had to deal with clients breathing down my neck every few minutes, and something tells I’ve done pretty OK being the one who takes the bullets. In fact, I think I’ve grown numb to it to some extent.

I guess it’s cos I’ve worked for and with far more worse people than these. Perhaps in the past, I might have reacted differently towards situations like this. I may be sitting down blinking back tears of frustrations and swearing off everything I know in my dictionary. But now, I guess I just let most things be and try making the best out of every mess made. I realize there really isn’t a point to breakdowns and anxiety in fuckups. And bleating them to friends and people around never makes anything easier anyway, cos it’s never really a failure when things turned out someway or another in the end.

And they always turn out someway or another in the end.

I’m turning 25 soon, and I thought to myself, -how much time is there left for me to take pleasure in my living? Obviously not much. I have spent way too much time worrying about things that were work related, when time worrying and loving should be spent more on others that really matter to me.

I read an interview with Pen-Ek Ratanaruang (director of ‘Last Life in The Universe’), where he said -
“The simplicity of life is gone. There is no calm. No one looks inside the mind. It’s not that people don’t want to, but they forget to, since there are other things to arouse them .... But everywhere is loud. I'm afraid that new generation will be afraid of silence. People tend to appreciate silence less and less.”

How very true, cos I’m getting afraid of silence.

marianah @ 8:20 PM | |

Wednesday, March 01, 2006

The League of My Favorite Gentlemen


My Favorite Gentlemen...Wak Kumis, Wak Baby, Wak Pakai-Seluar-Si-Bapaknye

Somehow, I have a gut feeling that Shahreil will whine about not being in this league, so before he does that, yes Shahreil, you belong here as well.


Wak Telinga-Kepak

marianah @ 10:17 PM | |

Monday, February 20, 2006

This was such an old pic of Zai...I found it today in the midst of clearing my workspace... somehow it reminded me of 'Where's Wally?'

marianah @ 2:47 AM | |

Sunday, February 19, 2006

Despite all the laughter and good times I've had lately, there's this lingering sadness within that I simply can't put a finger on.

marianah @ 6:31 PM | |

Sunday, February 12, 2006

It's finally over. Yes, my probono is over. I can't express my relief. It's been almost 3 months of staggered work, but it was a learning time for me. My weekends for the past month has been filled with so much activities, and hence I shall give myself a pat on the back for trying to have a life in the midst of all these. :)

The King

marianah @ 7:26 PM | |

Monday, February 06, 2006

The goodies have arrived last week and they're sitting right in front of me! Plus, my whole room smells of them, heh. Boy and Noa were around the area so they got to see the stuff first before the girls did.

Am so excited!

marianah @ 9:56 PM | |

Tuesday, January 31, 2006

My congrats to Shahreil and Yati on the engagement. Am extremely happy for the both of you. ;)

The long weekend has been alright so far, though it makes me more tired at work in the morning. Went to meet Jamal and Farid for Shahreil's engagement, and after some confusion along the way (West side sucks, :)), we arrive and discovered Shahreil in his white T-shirt and seluar katok-nye... cheh..after I deliberated for so long on what to wear for the occasion.

So that's an update there. BTW the goodies have arrived in Singapore...Whee!

marianah @ 5:52 PM | |

Saturday, January 28, 2006

"How do you pick up the threads of an old life? How do you Go On, -when in your heart, you begin to understand there is no going back?

There are some things that time cannot mend. Some Hurts that go too deep.. that have taken hold."

marianah @ 9:48 AM | |

Wednesday, January 25, 2006

Had an impromptu meetup yesterday with Farah, Boy and Farid, and we ended up eating a big chilli crab dinner leaving me with a breathing nuisance.

And Happy Birthday, Farah. :)

My bosses are getting on nerves lately, I left work with a throbbing headache last night, cos right through the day they were in my room arguing, and one would wonder why they chose my tiny, messed up office. They would even take a break to get some coffee from downstairs and return to my room to pick up from where they left. Halfway through an disagreement on Asian elocution, one of them return with a pirated dvd version of Memoirs of a Geisha, and insisted that we watched right then.

Plus, the whole of this week I had to put up with one raving about his obsession of inline skating, and the other buzzing around with his newly modified remote control car. It's turning into a circus here...

I'm gonna miss this...it's going to get quiet in here for a while.

marianah @ 8:48 PM | |

Sunday, January 22, 2006

Audrey, Farah and I had finally did something about our little project. It's been almost 2 years of wait already.

Minor problems here and there, but hey, we're excited! :)

marianah @ 6:41 PM | |

Wednesday, January 18, 2006

Bad PMS.

My insides feel bruised and tangled. Where are those capsules when I need them...

marianah @ 12:44 AM | |

Monday, January 16, 2006

Yay, two of the ads we shot for are nominated for Best Ad of the Year by SPH.

Wheeeeeeeeeeee!!

marianah @ 8:09 PM | |

Friday, January 13, 2006

Narcissism is fun!







marianah @ 12:56 AM | |

Tuesday, January 10, 2006

I think its time to move on...

marianah @ 7:16 PM | |

Wednesday, January 04, 2006

2005 has shut its door.

It had been a rough year for me. Almost callous in every way. But I am thankful for the experiences.

My family had our fair share of woes. A little one left us one unexpected morning, my lonesome uncle passed on in his coma, my cousin had her miscarriage in the midst of festive celebration. We had a close shave with my granddad being very ill for a while, which gravely, but silently affected me.

It was also the year when I finally got up and left my long relationship. I wrote the post dated below …

Monday, October 11, 2004
Is it possible that you just stop loving some people that you thought you always will love?

Because I think I just did.

And I only did something about it long after my revelation of that. Imagine all the time I had lied to myself and the relationship. I still get teary eyed over it. I still think of him every single day after the separation, and he is never ignored in my prayers to sleep at night. I still walk through the streets and get reminded of familiar articles that bear some reminiscences of what we used to be.

In 2005 I was jobless for half the year. I had troubles paying for the cheapest things I needed, and my bills piled up and took months to clear. I had Shahreil to share my worries and frustrations, but there was always a blessing in every misfortune. Together, we ended up in the best ever fleeting job wagon called ‘Krayon’. I thank Fadila for that.

But now both Shahreil and I are finally officially employed (though the whining never ends).

I thank God I get paychecks at the end of every month, and I have a boss that never fails to make me feel small and stupid. I thank God I have another boss who does the total opposite in his own irksome way. There is always some sense of balance in this world, I suppose.

In 2005, I discovered new dimensions to my friendships. This is hard to explain, but I guess its enough that I can understand this on my own.

So goodbye bad year.

To all that had given a shit about me, I thank you for loving a person in the times she hated herself.

marianah @ 12:49 AM | |

Wednesday, December 28, 2005

I received these pics in my mail not too long ago, they humbled me to bits. Screw the nice sneakers and ipods and collectibles and silly knick knacks I had wanted...

(Photographer: An Hejie. Market Place, Town of Chifeng, Inner Mongolia)
Beyond the northern (Inner Mongolia) frontier, spring has arrived but the
cold weather lingered on. Snow fell on this April morning. Flakes danced
in the sky. A middle-aged man tended to his cart, on which sat a little
boy, wrapped up with blanket used to keep the vegetables from freezing.
From time to time, the father would tuck at the blanket to make sure that
his son was all right. These are the words from the photographer: "Set in
the dark and shadowy background and the dancing snow flakes, the pink
puffy face of the little boy stood out in great contrast to that of the
father which was apparently shaped by the caprices of life. And life was
indeed harsh. Father and son only have each other for support. When the
father yelled out a sales pitch on top of his voice, his facial _expression
was shockingly touching. One cannot help but be moved."

The old man sells roast yam for a living. Because he doesn't have a
license, his tools were confiscated and his tricycle was smashed, its
chain cut. All the old man can do is to sit there and cry.

The father and his son live in an impoverished hilly area. They demand
nothing but a piece of land to call their own. Perhaps they will not have
a chance to see the outside world all their lives -- they will not know
what a staircase is, they will never ride in a taxi, nor will they ever
step into a movie theater. But the truth is these are the people who offer
us everything our lives depend on, generation after generation. The heaven
and earth have nothing to repay them.

Wang Zhizhong worked as a coal carrier. Carrying a basket of coal weighting 40kg (88 lb), he made his way up a 100m deep mine, and then
walked a distance of 1000m along a mountainous track. For each trip, he
made 1RMB (0.125 USD). He was 17.

No rose, no diamond ring, but if this is not love, what is love?

Your elderly mother and little children are waiting for you to come home with the day's wages.

Mothers and their child. This is life.

marianah @ 11:38 PM | |

Tuesday, December 27, 2005

Yesterday's shoot was fun. It was a whole day's work and the work prior to it was painful, but it turned out good. :)

At work

Smoking in my room

Us

marianah @ 8:33 PM | |

Monday, December 26, 2005

I bawled my eyes out in the shower.

Perhaps sometimes self-pity is the best relief for me. I wish I could love myself more than this.

For now, I'm slowly shrinking back into my shell just waiting for another thought to come by and eat me alive.

marianah @ 7:17 AM | |

Monday, December 19, 2005

I swear this probono shoot is squeezing the life out of me.


Beg, steal, borrow
Beg, steal, borrow

marianah @ 10:02 PM | |

Wednesday, December 14, 2005

I was at this Chinese antique shop last week for 3 whole hours trying to get my props done last minute. It was scorching hot, and despite my nerve wrecking wait and recurring outbursts due to language barriers, the people at the shop was painfully patient and generous.


Here I am with the Master :)

marianah @ 9:40 PM | |

Sunday, December 11, 2005


Two words for this : - Relentlessly Heartbreaking

marianah @ 9:41 PM | |

Thursday, December 01, 2005

It's been a very long week. Some photos here... too tired.


Tekka Friday with Datin Feizha and Mak Limah


Rainy Tuesday in town


Jurong Birdpark, alone, and soaked in rain. Oh yes, I forgot to mention a flock of birds did a Hiroshima-syle bombing on me :(


Shafi after Mash potatoes last night. She looks sweet eh? This pic is deceiving... tsk tsk..heh.


Yazer @ dinner. They followed me through my streetcasting at Boat Quay. Sweet friends I have, eh? :)

marianah @ 8:37 PM | |

Sunday, November 20, 2005

This was part of my weekend.

@ Jamal's, who's missing here. He was down with some disease,apparently.

The Manwhore in the foreground

"Marilah berbelanja di 2nd Chance"

Color of the Day

marianah @ 8:58 PM | |